Look at other people as a mirror
As mentioned before, the outer world is a mirror of our inner space. It reflects back to us what we send out to the Universe and what we carry in our inner space. Other people serve as a mirror too. They reflect back to us what we carry in our inner space and how we treat ourselves.
Life is a mirror. Life constantly shows us areas which we need to work on and heal. When you change and heal yourself, you outer experiences will also change. When an object changes its form, its reflection must change accordingly.
Knowing this, we can mentally thank those who annoy us for bringing our attention to areas we need to work on. We would not have had the opportunity to heal those areas, had it been not for that person. No matter how unpleasant it may be at the personality level, we can use this occasion to achieve tremendous growth at the soul level.
Similarly, when we feel hurt by somebody, we can try to look at it from a higher perspective. We must not hold that person responsible for our pain. The pain already existed in us and the person we blame actually acted as a “messenger” to show us areas that need to be healed. Perhaps our souls chose to bring this person into our lives for healing. If it had not been for him, we would not have the opportunity to deal with our pain. In that sense, people with whom we have problems are actually there to help us at a deeper level.
As you see, given that the outer world is a mirror, there really is nothing and nobody to blame no matter what we may have experienced. To the contrary, we can thank those who annoy and hurt us, because they act as messengers to show us areas that need to be healed. We should not be angry at messengers. Instead of reacting to the messengers, we should pay our attention to the message they are bringing to us.
Self-examination brings us much insight to how our experiences with other people reflects our own inner space. It is also a challenging, yet at the same time, an immensely rewarding effort. As you get to learn more about yourself, you can reconcile what seems to oppose each other. In the process, you will be able to bring more consciousness into your thoughts, emotions, and conduct. You can also deal with and transform your lower selves.
Teacher of the master
Once upon a time, there lived a Zen master with a lot of disciples. One day, one of his beloved disciples betrayed him and began to diffuse slanderous rumors about the Zen master. The wide-spread rumors ended up irreparably tarnishing his reputation in town. Indignant, his disciples went to their master. “Master! He is a viper,” they said, showing nothing but disdain in their voices. “If you allow us, we’ll go to him and make sure he won’t continue this.”
The master, who remained surprisingly calm, looked at his disciples with a gentle smile. “ There is nothing to be upset about.” the master said. “If you want to visit him please make sure to bring him a nice present. He has been a teacher for me. A wonderful teacher, indeed. I have nothing but gratitude for him.