Why do we feel so good when we are in love?

Falling in love is a magical experience. It brings us aliveness and makes us feel special. It arouses our sexual instinct and pumps us up with energy. Love simply brings so much joy to our lives. When we are madly in love with someone, we feel intoxicated and the world becomes rosy.

So what makes “falling in love” such an extraordinary experience? When we are in love, we naturally enter into alignment with source. In Korean, we call this source “Bonseong” (본성). When we align with source, it creates magic in our lives. It is the alignment with source that makes love feel so good to us.

Unfortunately, most of us are unaware of this, and most of us believe that when we are in love, we feel wonderful because of the person we are in love with. Many of us develop attachment to the person we are in love with, thereby creating a dependent relationship, in which we make the other person the source of our happiness. 

Before we go further, I’d like to share with you a tragic Korean love story. The story of Hodong, which is well-known in Korea, will help shed light on the nature of love.

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Hodong and the princess of Nakrang

Hodong was a prince of an ancient Korean kingdom called Goguryeo. One day, Hodong was hunting in a border area where he encountered King Choi-Lee of Nakrang. As a friendly gesture to his neighboring nation, King Choi-Lee invited the prince to his palace.

During his sojourn in the magnificent palace, Hodong met the king’s beautiful daughter, who was immediately captivated by the dashing and handsome prince. They soon fell in love with each other and their love blossomed fast. The princess was so madly in love with Hodong that the princess told him everything she knew about her kingdom’s national treasure, Jamyongo, a magical drum that beats itself in reaction to an attack from a foreign country.

Hodong was aware that his father, King Daemusin, had been surreptitiously eyeing an opportunity to conquer Nakrang. After seeing Jamyongo with his own eyes, Hodong realized that no country would be able to take over Nakrang so long as Jamyongo protected the kingdom.

Finally, he decided to return to Goguryeo in order to inform his father of everything he had learned about Jamyongo. As he said farewell to the dewy-eyed princess, Hodong swore that he would come back to Nakrang in near future.

Days went by. The princess patiently awaited the return of Hodong. One day, instead of the prince, a confidential letter reached the palace of the princess. She opened the letter and read it. But soon, her face turned pale because in the letter, Hodong asked her to destroy Jamyongo as the proof of her love for him.

After reading his letter, the princess was torn between her fidelity to her nation and her love toward the prince. Jamyongo served as an excellent warning device against any foreign invasion and the whole kingdom relied on it for security. Its absence could jeopardize the entire kingdom. On the other hand, she could not bear the idea of losing Hodong. Finally, she came to the decision that she would prove her love to Hodong. The princess of Nakrang ended up cutting Jamyongo into pieces.

As soon as the prince was notified of the destruction of Jamyongo, he reported it to his father, who immediately launched a surprise attack on Nakrang.

As Jamyongo did not beat, the kingdom remained defenseless until Goguryeo’s army reached the capital city. At the sight of Goguryeo’s army proceeding toward the palace, the king was beside himself with panic and rage. When the broken-hearted princess confessed her misdeed to him, he killed her on the spot.

Meanwhile, Hodong led his army to the palace of Nakrang. Once inside the palace, Hodong desperately searched for the princess only to find her dead body. Although he used the naive heart of the princess for political reasons his love toward her was genuine. Clasping her cold body with his arms, Hodong wailed in despair.

alignment with source

Love relationships in the old era

The above story illustrates the fundamental flaws of love relationships in the old era. In the old era, we ventured out into the external world in order to attain what we needed. We strove to find the right person to love and to be loved. We believed that we could be happy when we are in a fulfilling love relationship. When we fell in love with somebody, many of us, especially women, made that person the source of happiness. 

In the story, the princess was so blinded by her love for Hodong that she made him the source of her happiness and did everything she could do to please him. In the end, she betrayed her father and her country in order to save her relationship with Hodong, which only led to a tragic demise. 

It is alignment with source that performs the magic

As mentioned above, when we are in love, we naturally enter into alignment with our own source energy, which makes us feel wonderful. Contrary to popular beliefs, it is not the other person, but instead, it is our alignment with source that performs the magic. Therefore, when we are looking for love, we could be actually looking for alignment with our own source energy.

Let’s go back to the story. The princess of Nakrang felt so good in the presence of Hodong and felt like she could not live without him. However, seen from a deeper perspective, the wonderful feeling actually did not come from her relationship with Hodong. Instead, it was produced by her alignment with source energy.

Given that the wonderful sensation came from the alignment with source and that Hodong merely served as a vehicle that connected her to her own source, she could have achieved it without Hodong, if she knew how to enter into union with her source.

As crazy as it may sound, we do not need another person to feel loved and protected because the emotional benefits we receive when we are in love are produced by our alignment with source energy. We can certainly offer the benefits of love to ourselves, whether it is a warm sensation, the feeling of being loved or the feeling of security, even when we do not have a person to love. It is the alignment with our source that makes “falling in love” such a magical experience, not the person we are in love with.

Everything lies in us. True reality lies within.

tao